


i won't let you go

by Zucheenee



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Major Character Injury, One Shot, Post-Canon, fear not friends there is a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 01:08:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7869511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zucheenee/pseuds/Zucheenee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"Go." Joel said, clutching his wounded leg with one hand, Ellie's shoulder with the other.</i><br/> <br/><i>"No, you can't ask me to do this." She said, holding his hand in a vice like grip.</i><br/> <br/><i>"I ain't asking."</i><br/> <br/>OR</p><p>Depending on how you looked at it, Joel was always expendable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i won't let you go

**Author's Note:**

> i have so many tlou feels y'all

 

_"That is the fear she has—the fear_

_  
_ _His soul may beat and be beating at her dull sense_

 _  
_ _Like Blue Mary's angel, dovelike against a pane_

 _  
_ _Blinded to all but the grey, spiritless room_

 _  
_ _It looks in on, and must go on looking in on."_

-Sylvia Plath, "Widow"

 

 

Depending on how you told the story, it was never about Joel at all.

 

***

 

One foot in front of the other, that was the boring mantra that kept Ellie moving. A blizzard had rolled in suddenly, making it impossible to see. Ellie and Joel had caught a few rabbits in the forest, it wasn't nearly enough, but it was something. They'd passed up making camp an hour ago, and now they'd just have to keep going until they found a place out of the storm.

 

Ellie squinted through the storm, seeing the faint imprint of a cabin in the distance. She waved Joel over, pointing to the cabin. He nodded and fell in step behind her, letting her lead the way. She tried the door, sighing when it didn't budge. Ellie took a step back, motioning to the door with one hand. Joel got in front of her, kicking it down for them. They moved inside, propping the door up against the frame. Ellie put her hood down, unwrapping the scarf from her face.

 

Joel put his pack down by the door, revolver out and ready. He checked the rooms while Ellie got to work on making a fire in the fireplace. He came back with his revolver in the holster just as the tinder sparked fire. Ellie put her pack down, sitting back on the rug.

 

"We'll have to wait for the storm to clear out before heading back, I reckon." Joel said, his voice rough from disuse. Ellie nodded, rummaging through her pack for food. She came up with a few pieces of jerky, offering some to Joel. He took her up on it, and they sat in silence. "You did good today."

 

"Thanks." Ellie said, rubbing her arms.

 

"Try to get some sleep."

 

***

 

Depending on how you told the story, it was about the ones they lost.

 

***

 

Ellie woke up to Joel's impatient shaking. She groaned, only to be silenced by a hand over her mouth. She opened her eyes, looking around wildly.

 

"Someone's outside." Joel leaned down, whispering in her ear. He removed his hand slowly, getting his revolver ready. Ellie got up slowly, quietly making her way to the fireplace. She got her bow and arrow, following Joel to the side door on the house. He opened the door, and Ellie winced when the hinges squeaked. They moved slowly, pressed up against the decaying shingles of the house.

 

"There were tracks through here, they can't be far." Someone said. Ellie leaned out over the corner, getting back into cover before the group could see her.

 

"There are five of them." She whispered to Joel, who nodded in reply. Ellie ducked down, hoping the snow would hide her as she made her way to some overturned trashcans. She crouched behind them, waiting for one of them to come to her. Ellie didn't have to wait long until one of them wandered off, she shot him once in the throat; he fell into the snow, his blood painting it a startling shade of red.

 

She dragged his body around, kicking the snow with her boot to scatter the blood. Ellie took out one more in the same manner. Joel circled around the side of one, choking him out before rejoining Ellie behind the trashcans. It was going too smoothly, which was of course when it all went to shit.

 

"There they are!" One of them shouted, pointing his flashlight at her. She dropped the arms of the body she'd been dragging, ducking when she heard gunshots.

 

"Get back to the house!" Joel shouted, taking one of them down with a shot from his revolver. She sprinted back to the house, slamming the door open. She grabbed their packs before meeting Joel at the door. Together, they ran for the tree line. Joel led the way; they sprinted haphazardly through the woods. Ellie tugged on his sleeve, pointing to a thicket of underbrush.

 

Ellie scrambled underneath it, cursing softly when brambles caught on her clothing. Joel settled in beside her, his body glued to the ground. Ellie held her breath as the remaining scavengers walked past them. They waited for a few minutes before getting up, trying to head back the way they came.

 

"There they are!" One of the men shouted. Shit, Ellie thought as she booked it out of there. A gunshot resounded through the trees, and Joel grunted. Ellie looked down, horrified by the wound in Joel's calf. She put her arm around him, trying to support him. They walked together, only barely managing to avoid the scavengers. She sat him down at the base of a tall tree, searching through her pack for bandages. Ellie wrapped his calf carefully with a swathe of gauze.

 

"We have to go." She said as she lifted him up. He limped through the woods; one hand was wrapped around Ellie’s shoulder, his fingers digging in painfully. Joel was close to hyperventilating, so Ellie set him down quickly. He went down hard, leaning heavily against a pine tree. Joel’s eyes were closed, his mouth a thin line.

 

"Go." Joel said, clutching his wounded leg with one hand, Ellie's shoulder with the other.

 

"No, you can't ask me to do this." She said, holding his hand in a vice like grip. His eyes opened suddenly, meeting hers intently.

 

"I ain't asking." Joel said before pushing her back. "Go, before they come back." He said, taking his revolver out of the holster. She froze when he pointed it at her. He switched off the safety, and Ellie took off running in a random direction, the only sound her heavy breathing, the backpack rattling on her back. She was coming back for him.  _You keep finding something to fight for._ Those were his words, and she wasn't letting him go.

 

***

 

Depending on how you told the story, it was about Sarah.

 

***

 

Ellie could've tracked them if she was blind. They were careless, thought they'd scared her off for good. It wasn't ideal, they said, just getting one of them. It was better than nothing, they said. When Ellie was done with them, they'd regret not killing her when they had the chance. She trailed them back to their camp, cursing internally when she saw there were four more. Then again, she'd faced worse. Nothing would ever be as shitty as Pittsburgh.

 

She took them out easily enough with her bow and arrow when they wandered out of the camp's boundaries. Eventually there were only two left, both sleeping. Joel was tied up in the back, curled up in a ball. His wound was slowly oozing blood. She snuck up on them, slitting the throat of one. Ellie bound the hands of the other in front of him, waking him up with a sharp slap to the face. He woke up in a panic, thrashing around on his mat.

 

"Shut the fuck up." Ellie said, slapping him before he could start talking. "Only nod yes or no for me. Are there more of you?" She asked, knife on his throat. The man gulped before shaking his head. "Don't fucking lie to me." She said. Ellie snapped one of his fingers back, the man's mouth opened in a silent scream. "Are there more of you?" She asked again, this time he nodded yes, crying quietly. "Find them, and tell them to leave us the fuck alone. Next time, I'll kill everyone." She said before removing her blade.

 

The man stayed put. Ellie stood up and kicked him in the back. He got up quickly, shooting her one last look before running into the night. When he ran out of sight, Ellie went to Joel's side. She removed her earlier bandage and redressed the wound. Ellie got his pack, slinging it over her other shoulder. She carefully lifted him, dragging him out of the camp.

 

One foot in front of the other, she told herself. Nobody was getting left behind, not this time.

 

***

 

Depending on how you told the story, it was about the Fireflies.

 

***

 

Ellie woke up when Joel came to, coughing loudly. She kneeled by his side, rubbing his back. He tensed, looking around wildly. His eyes finally settled on Ellie with a scowl.

 

"I told you to leave me behind." He snapped. Ellie held her ground, looking back at him. "You're too damn important to take risks like that."

 

"I was just supposed to leave you there?"

 

"Yes." He said, fists clenched on top of the thin blanket.

 

"Do you remember the university of Colorado?" She asked. He blinked slowly, as if wondering where she was going with this. After a long minute, he nodded. "You bled for so long, and you were so weak. There were times I thought you wouldn't make it through the winter, but you did. I didn't leave you then, and I won't leave you now." Ellie said. Joel caught her eye briefly, nodding once. "Don't ask me to do that again."

 

"Okay."

 

And that was that.

 

***

 

Depending on how you told the story, it was about a man and a girl who could've almost been his daughter.

 


End file.
